A: Because he's a fungi to be with....
OK, sorry about the terrible joke. But as we get into autumn it becomes a good time to look for all sorts of fungi in the woods. Here at Top Lodge I spotted four species just on a quick walk to the wildlife hide.
King Alfred's cakes are hard black lumps that can be seen on fallen branches. Their name comes from the old story of Alfred the Great who, being ousted from his kingdom by some marauding Danes sought shelter in the cottage of an old woman, deep within the woods. Because he had no money (having had to leave in something of a hurry) she instead tasked him to watch some cakes (more likely bread rolls) that she was baking. Unfortunately he was no cook and burnt them! The irate woman promptly threw him out of her cottage and threw the cakes after him. They stuck to trees and can still be seen today. They really do look like little lumps of charred bread or cake.
The dryad's saddle is a highly distinctive fungus. A thick stem flattens out to a broad pale yellow cap covered in brown scales. The entire funguis can grow to be rather large, sometimes up to 30 cm across. The name comes from the belief that dryads (makle wood nymphs) used them as saddles when riding deer around the woods.
The many-zoned polyphore might not sound too exciting, but its alternative name of 'turkey tails' gives a clue as to how it looks. These are fan-shaped bracket fungi, with distinct rings of different colours, making them look like the spread tail of a turkey.
Staying with the bird theme, chicken-of-the-woods is a large yellowish bracket fungus found at the base of rotten trees or logs. The name comes from the resemblence to cooked chicken. Young ones are sometimes eaten but may cause severe allergic reactions. As with any fungus, I would recommend NEVER eating one you find in the wild, unless an expert confirms it is safe.
So come along, and have a look to see what you can find!